Down a New Path
by BloodyCaliber
Summary: SSHP The good and the bad. All that you hold dear and all that you despise. What if everything you had and all that you thought you knew was torn to shreds and scattered to the wind?


**Disclaimer: **No they're not mine, I'm just borrowing them and putting my own spin on things. Their all J.K. Rowling's.

**Author's Note : **This story is SLASH! Male/Male relationship. Severus Snape/Harry Potter. Don't like it then don't read it. Violence, non-con (rape), abuse, neglect, and some character bashings (i wont say who yet) in the future.

This is just something that i randomly got an idea for and started to write on. This is also my first ever try at writing my own fic in the Potter-Verse, so be warned. Oh he might be confusing at first, but remember this is supposed to be the first chapter of what will hopefully become a long plot filled story.

So far, I've got a pretty solid idea in my head of how i want things to go and happen, but i'm open to suggestions. This idea and concept has been plaguing me for awhile, and i've been dying to put it out and write it, and thus here we are.

Summary: SS/HP The good and the bad. All that you hold dear and all that you despise. What if everything you had and all that you thought you knew was torn to shreds and scattered to the wind?

Down A New Road

Chapter one:

Beyond the Veil.

Silence. Thats all there was, and no other word to describe it, utter, complete, blissful silence. But why? It shouldn't be this quiet, should it? Something kept pulling at his mind...Something wasn't quite right. But What? All he could think of, was how brilliantly quiet and dark it was here...Wait. Here? Where was here...He wasn't sure.

His body felt as if it was suspended on a cloud, just floating, not substantial and not heavy...Not hurting...Pain. He was without pain...How long had it been since his every waking hour was living with some kind of hurt, either physical or mental? How long ago had it been since his nights weren't restless and fitful from dreadful excruciatingly horrible nightmares?

Too long. Much to long. Briefly the thought of 'Am I dead?' popped into his mind. But he quickly realized, it didn't matter if he was or not. If he was, it was okay, if he could stay in this place, so blissfully quiet and serene to his once frayed nerves, irreparably damaged body and mind...This was heaven.

But wait. What was that? A voice, hazy and distant. He could hear it, and as his minds eye looked around this place, which only moments ago...Was it moments? Was pitch black, now was slowly turning into a hazy gray, a mist or fog of some sort seemed to seep into the area surrounding him.

Suddenly he could feel his mortal body, but it still didn't feel the same, almost as if it didn't belong to him. Looking down he could see his hands, they were his, alright, but wait...They were not scarred and bruised, nor bloody, or atleast he thought he remembered them being...

It was all so surreal, as if he were a ship floating in the middle of sea, not quite here or there, some things making sense...Other bits, totally lost to him. He knew he was damaged, something had happened before now...There was a reason he was here...But he had no clue why, and what led up to him being here. With a sigh, he looked around again, for a time, or so it felt to him.

Finally, he heard that voice again, but closer now. Looking around, trying to peer past the foggy surroundings, and see whom that heavenly sweet voice belong to. Words he couldn't understand, but the way they were spoken, something told him, he knew who this person was...They were trying to tell him something...But what?

"Where are you? Who are you?" He couldn't help but asking. But on second thought, something almost as important as figuring out who that mystery person was. "Where is this?"

Taking steps forward in the abyss of this shadowy gray world, every foot forward, it seemed almost as if he could see a ripple wave through the 'world' in which he was now standing. Legs leading him forward onward and onward through this unsubstantial fog, he didn't know how much time had past, or if any at all.

Then, there it was, that voice again, now unmistakably feminine, and absolutely heavenly, it was so much closer this time. Eyes squinting, he could make out a figure in the now thickened fog, but when had it thickened? Something was so wrong about this place, about him...But it was like incomplete thoughts rolled through his mind, not able to hang onto them but for the briefest of moments and glimpses...

"Who are you?" Didn't he ask that already? "Do I know you?"

A brief thought of _'I shouldn't have come this far, I should be cautious._' passed over him, but he dismissed it, why was he supposed to be cautious, when it felt like he knew, and furthermore trusted this person? Even if he wasn't sure of their identity.

A smile was in that voice now, and he could understand every word as they, no she, made her way closer, her body and face slowly coming into focus.

"Yes you know whom I am, but that does not matter now. What matters is, your not supposed to be here." She was feet away now, and she'd stopped. Voice serene and beautiful, and her form no different, cascading crisp autumn red hair, lightly tanned and freckled skin, and startling emerald eyes. Yes! He knew this woman! Who was she!? Why couldn't he remember? It seemed like it was so very important that he knew her. Yet as his mind was beating itself over these questions, his voice was calm and steady when he spoke.

"I'm not supposed to be here?" He held that gaze for a moment before looking around him, where it was just blurry grayness and fog before, he could now see behind the fog, the shadows of more people standing there, as if watching and listening to the conversation he was now taking part in. "But where is here?"

A smile, oh what a heavenly smile graced her lips. He suddenly had this very hazy light thought, that he should cry and fall into this stranger's arms...But she was no stranger was she?

"This place, has no real name, it is not here nor there. The best I can explain it as, this place is the other side of the veil." She reached a hand out, bringing it upwards towards him, he watched in a stunned fascination before her skin contacted his cheek. It was so light and a ghost of a touch, as she simply caressed his cheek once, before letting her hand drop back by her side.

"The veil?" He knew that place, but where was it? Suddenly a flash broke through his mind, no, a memory...

_a man with stringy black hair and a scruffy appearance on a weathered once handsome face, was falling backwards in a stunned look that slowly morphed to half horror, as he fell towards then into an archway with a black like sheet...Almost as in slow motion, he arched backwards, wand still grasped in an outstretched hand, he fell towards, then through the lightly whisking sheet...Then the man totally disappeared, not coming out on the other side..._

For some reason that made him want to give a sob, a cry of protest, but it was like whatever emotions he should be experiencing were muted, or in a fog of their own.

The veil...It meant death didn't it?

"I'm dead?" Such eliquence with words, someone would have told him.

"Not precisely." Her smile turned sad, like she regretted that, wether he was not quite dead, or not quite alive, he wasn't sure. What did she mean not precisely!? either he was or he wasn't right? And how could she be so calm and give him half answers!

"What do you mean? Either I am or I'm not...Or is this like muggles call it, limbo?" That would make sense really, where did that come from? He wasn't quite sure...Everything seemed so muted and not quite right.

"Yes." She reached out and caressed his cheek again, the other forms behind and around them seemed to be becoming restless. "This is in a sense, Limbo. The place between life and death, and beyond the fog..." She stretched her arm out towards the restless, faceless shadow bodies. "Is death, behind you..." She trailed off, directing him to turn around. And when he did, he realized where he'd left from, it wasn't pitch black, nor foggy...it was steadily lighter going from a dark grey to a very light gray then almost white, the farthest his eyes could look. "Thats life. And you need to make a decision."

Make a decision? What? Wether to live or die? For some reason he was pulled in both directions...Damn it! It seemed like something was missing, everything still didn't feel right, like there was some huge chunk missing from his thoughts and memories...but why!? How the hell did he get here, how was he on the brink of death!?

"Why am I here? I don't remember!" For once so far, he voice was raised, no longer calm and nearly emotionless...He dropped to his knees, frustration and confusion clouding everything, or what little else, there was, as he gave one pound of his fists on the inky ground they'd been standing. Those emerald eyes of hers darkened, and her forehead creased in confusion.

"You don't remember?" She whirled around and looked past the fog, and seemed to be talking to someone beyond it. And she was, for moments later another form drifted through the fog, this time a much older man, with long white hair, and a beard that probably reached his knees, of the same snow white. He wore robes of a garrish canary yellow. He knew this man as well.

"My boy, what has happened to you? Do you remember who I am?" The old man, leaned down easily on one knee by his side, something that, how ever possible, he knew, this wizard in yellow, wasn't supposed to be able to do. A hand touched his shoulder, then grasped it firmly. "Look at me, my boy."

Raising his eyes up to meet clear blue ones, behind half-moon spectacles, there was something missing from that gaze. Something altogether wrong about this man, whom he was sure he knew, just like he knew the woman.

He shook his head.

"No...I do not know your name sir. But I know you...How? I don't know." Leaning up, he sat back on his heels, looking this older wizard over, he sniffed, and realized his nose was running, and his cheeks wet with tears. But why!? Why damn it was he crying? Growing more and more frustrated, he gave a sob. "W-why does nothing make sense?" This man, knew the answers, he had to, something was screaming in his mind, that this man in yellow robes, knew it all, or was supposed to have all the answers.

The older man's features grew sad on top of troubled, and he shook his white head.

"I do not know, my boy. I do not know." Patting his shoulder, he stood up easily, and extended a hand, pulling the younger one up from his stooping position. "You know me. Well knew me, should be the more correct term. I am Albus Dumbledore, previous Headmaster of Hogwarts, school of Witch Craft and Wizardry. And you-You my dear young man...Were, well are, our world's Savior."

Harry. That was his name. And this man, this Headmaster Dumbledore...It all felt right, it was no lie, he knew it as truth...But still it was all wrong, he couldn't remember exactly why or how he knew these two people. Albus gave him a weak and sad smile, no twinkle in those blue eyes.

He rubbed a hand over his wet cheeks, trying to brush and will these unfounded tears away.

"What happened? Why am I here? I just don't understand what is going..." He was interupted by a sneering, condescending voice.

"Stop your whining. The whys or hows do not matter, you are here, and you shouldn't be. You don't belong here, so go away, go back to the light, stop dwaddling and go back to living. You can ask all your questions when your time is due, only you would want to toe the line of the actual doorstep of death. Imbecilic Gryffindors." Sarcastic and biting, again this voice was not one of a stranger...

Harry looked past Albus, now realizing more of the shadowed figures had come into shape and being, moving from behind the fog. One just behind Albus and the red haired witch, still dark and shadowy...No wait, that was his robes, all black, from neck to toe, long black hair framing the young, pale face, reaching past his shoulders. Deep onyx eyes piercingly appraising him, Harry felt like they seen his very soul...This man too, he was the one who had spoken his to-the-point words, and again something was wrong with him. Or how Harry's perception of this man was.

"Excuse me?" That was all he could come up with, his mouth had gone dry sometime since the dark man had interrupted him, till now.

Albus clucked his tongue and gave a disapproving look towards the new addition.

"You shouldn't have ever passed the barrier, my boy. Go back, at once." Turning back towards the young man, they'd all come out of the distance to meet, he nodded grimly. "He's right Harry, you need to go back. But there's something I'd like to tell you." There was a twinkle in the blue eyes now, he gave a weak smile, that's what was missing.

Confused in mind and emotion, Harry nodded dumbly, not sure if there was anything to say...As well it seemed all speech had seemed to leave him, since the black clad man had appeared, and now he was shifty back into the mist. A strangled sob escaped his lips, and he probably looked as shocked as he felt. Oh why oh why was this happening? Up or down, left or right? it all seemed wrong, yet at the same time so perfectly correct, yet it still made no sense. Everything was incomplete, like a puzzle that had been broken and the pieces shifted, then thrown to the wind.

Sniffling, he looked to the older wizard, with the oh so familiar twinkling blue eyes. Albus smiled kindly at him, putting his hand back on Harry's shoulder.

"You must go back, as soon as possible, I can not stress that enough. Your work there is not complete, if you stay here, the world will be plunged in darkness, but if you awaken, then you have won. But you must wake up Harry, the prophecy is not fufilled quite yet." That hand gripped the young broad shoulder.

Harry nodded dumbly again, lost still, but everything vaguely fell into place...And if all these people wanted him to go back, then who was he to argue? Even though it was nice and comforting here, even though his memories and emotions were in a vaccum of turmoil. "Yessir."

"Good. Good. Now, when you wake up, you should remember everything...Not everything is going to be nice, you've seen and had to do horrible things, things that life's forced upon you. But when at your first opportunity, I want you to go see Minerva McGonagall's office, and speak to my portrait, it hides and protects something I left behind specifically for you. Do you understand, my boy?"

"Yessir. Something for me behind your portrait, in this McGonagall's office. Got it...But sir?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Who is she and the other man?" He pointed out the original red haired witch, and Albus knew he was speaking of his old protege'. The blue eyed wizard gave him a smile, and waved to the two behind him.

The pale man coalesced back from behind the veil of fog again, stepping forward, and this time past Albus Dumbledore, who had taken a few steps back. Nodding to the witch, he let her have her say first.

"Harry my dear." Those green eyes swam with unshed tears, as the woman feebly brushed his cheek of his own. "I'm glad I got to see you for my self, as it were." She sniffled, seeming to almost physically be holding back the tears that threatened to roll down her freckled cheeks. "My name is Lily Potter, and you never got to know me...Fate is like that, sometimes so unfair. But remember one thing for me, I always loved you dear, and I still do, if I had to relive that horrible night all over again..." Now the tears flowed freely, the proverbial dam having busted. "I wouldn't do anything different."

Harry's own eyes had started to water over again, damn it! Why!? It all made sense, somewhere deep in the back of his mind.

_Darkness. Visible and almost tangible. A woman's screams filled his ears, and the darkness all around him. A maniacal laughter struck like lightning as well, right before a blazing flash of green light...He felt almost as if he were falling, before he took a soft landing. A soft blurred bit of light made itself out, and a fuzzy shape came into view. Again that high, rumbling laughter. _

_"Just like you should be. Stupid wench, dead and thrown aside, just like the filthy mudblood that you are! Your sacrifice was for nothing! Now for your precious child." _

_A stick was pointed at him, and then his blurred vision was surrounded by that blazing green, those feminine screams still echoed in his ears and darkness surrounded him like a blanket yet again..._

It all made sense. Was that what this woman was talking about? Apparently so, it fit, and it was apparent who ever the woman was, had died...Her child? Was this his mother? YES! Yes it was.

"Mom." A torrent of tears cascaded down his cheeks, and an unabashed sob choked its way from his throat. Lily came forward, wrapping her arms around him for a brief, but motherly hug. She stepped back, brushing his face with her fingers one last time, before she kept going backwards, her too, faded into the fog, and on the other side of the veil.

Not even bothering to smooth the mini rivers from his face, he looked up when he saw more movement. The other man, pale face, dark hair, and all black, nearly blending into the wash of darkness around him.

"Your not how I knew you. Are you?" Harry had come to realization minutes, well he supposed it was minutes, before. This man, he didn't quite seem to fit into his mental picture, like Dumbledore, their pieces didn't quite fit into his puzzle of a mind.

A smirk lifted those thin pink lips, and a minute nod of the dark head, was his answer. "Quite accurate, Mr. Potter." Sniffling, Harry still wasn't sure exactly who he was, but he had this overwhelming feeling, similar yet different than with Lily Potter. He couldn't place it, not for the life of him.

"Who are you?"

"Severus Snape." Harry gave a nod. "I'm probably ten years younger than you ever seen me. The prime of my life, so Albus claims." A pale hand, with slender, long fingers, reached out, cupping his cheek, tilting Harry's head up and slightly to the side. He had no choice but to meet that obsidian gaze. "Do not despair, live your life, and do not mourn me. Here...I have been set free in every sense. You..." Severus, who didn't seem like a man lost for words normally, seemed to be finding a hard time searching for exactly what to say. "-you, were the greatest gift in my life, I want you to know that. Your love was the closest I'd been to freedom, in all my life."

A turbulant amount of emotions curled and spun in his stomach, or in the stomach of this foreign body...Thats what it was, it was love, he loved his mother, and he loved this man, Severus.

"I loved you, and I still do. Live your life, find your own freedom." Severus, still cupping Harry's cheek, leaned down, and brushed their lips together, ever so briefly, but it felt like an electric shock through the green eyed man's system. Feeling the hand fall from his cheek as the other man pulled away, Harry opened his eyes and seen that Severus was making his way backwards.

"Wait, no. Severus..." He sobbed the words out as he stretched his hand out for a moment, as if he could grab said taller man, and drag him back. Severus turned back, looking over his shoulder, and shook his head minutely.

"Get going, you imperitant brat, before I seriously start to believe you bask in the glow, of your near-death experiences." The dark man, kept walking, not looking back anymore. "Go. Now Harry." With that said, the man practically dissolved in the mist like fog, becoming another shadow amongst all the others.

With a strangled cry, Harry shook his head, as if in denial. At the sound of his name from that man in black, visions...no they were memories, started flying past his mind's eye. Flooding his brain, filling in all the gaping holes he'd been feeling there since he'd arrived in the 'veil'...

_Long pale fingers brushed against his wet cheek, collecting, then wiping away the tracks and slow stream of tears._

_"You aren't supposed to cry." A dark, but mirthful chuckle. "Over emotional Gryffindors." _

_A sniffle. His own. _

_"No. Not over e-emotional, when its love." The pale, long fingered hand still abruntly. Jade eyes met onyx ones, dark eyes half wide in what one could claim was either shock or terror. Harry thought of perhaps taking the words back, going back to the enjoyable way things had been, before he let his emotions get the best of him._

_Then it was gone._

_Those dark eyes narrowed, face went back into its neutral mask, a face which the younger hadn't seen directed at him often these days, atleast not inside 'their' chambers, or in private period...He'd totally destroyed what little joy he had. What joy they BOTH had. He could almost literally feel his heart shattering to pieces, as his face flooded with tears again._

_"Don't be absurd. Love is a fleeting notion. A over indulged concept of an emotion, that has been twisted this way that over the decades and centuries, purely for the purpose of that absurd holiday 'Valentines'...As well as for over sentimental people." if possible those eyes narrowed even more, before thin lips twitched into a smirk and an eyebrow cocked itself, slightly. "Not unlike yourself." _

_Those tiny pieces suddenly stopped their mad cracking, frozen in time by the look he saw on Severus' face. He gave a half hearted grin and nodded. "So? D-doesn't make what I feel any less, and if I define it as love, then so be it." He sniffled, he'd grown a habit of recent for breaking down into tears, but only in solitude or with his lover, never in public...It had just gotten so _hard _as of late to keep going without some sort of release. "You mean the world to me, your the glue that holds me together, you know. " _

_When the second eyebrow joined the first, and Harry just knew the older man was going to speak, he placed a finger on those thin lips, stilling any biting words or any form of rejection they might spill forth. _

_"No Severus. I'm not asking for you to tell me anything in return, I just came to the decision that, just incase Voldermort decided to try something tomorrow, and I die...Or you...I wanted to make sure you knew how I felt." A wry smile crossed his lips. "I just didn't expect to tell you crying like a girl on your shoulder, like this is all." _

_A low chuckle, and Severus nodded, showing his consent of those words. "I know how you feel Harry. But don't go making it a habit to spew such emotional dribble. After all, actions speak louder than any words." With that their lips met in a kiss. _

_Yes actions did speak louder than words..._

_Stolen glances across the Great Hall, a worried glance, a raised eyebrow in concern. _


End file.
